Want Great Speeches? Mine Your Lessons Learned in Everyday Life

Have you often noticed how the most profound lessons usually come from the most straightforward everyday experiences?

Look closely

You might hear a funny or profound speaker seemingly talking about mundane situations, and you think, “Nothing like that ever happens to me.” Of course, it does, or you wouldn’t relate to it. That speaker has attributes meaning where it doesn’t usually occur, turning ordinary moments into powerful lessons.

For example, in a speech on good customer service, my client said, “Patricia, our associates don’t stay in Ritz Carlton; they don’t shop at Nordstrom. How do we teach them what good service is?”

I responded, “Very easy. We are all customers. You need them to act as business consultants based on their experiences and then apply what they learn to their company.” I shared some of my good and bad customer service stories and asked them, “Who would like to tell me one of yours?”

A young woman raised her hand and said, “I went into a store to buy a leotard to go under my child’s Halloween costume. I made a mistake and took the wrong size. I hadn’t opened the package, so I returned it and said, ‘Excuse me, could I change this for another size?’ The clerk rolled his eyes and said, ‘You don’t even know what size your kid is?’”

She continued, “I made another purchase, wrote a check, and accidentally put the next day’s date on it. The clerk threw the pen across the table and said, ‘Will you initial that?’ I went up to the Customer Service Department and told them the story.

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If It Were Not a Thing, What Would It Be?

Are you guilty of using lazy language?

In my speech coaching sessions, one of the most frequent questions I ask is, “If it were not a thing, what would it be?”

For example, one brilliant engineer preparing for his company’s User meeting said, “There are two things people love about…” You guessed it; I asked, “If it were not a thing, what would it be?”

His reply? “Innovative upgrades.” My next question: “There are billions of people in the world. Which people love your innovative upgrades?” His answer: “Systems administrators.”

This simple exchange is just one way I help brilliant professionals communicate as intelligently as they are.

The next time you hear someone—even yourself—use the word “thing,” take a moment to write out the sentence and find a stronger, more specific word to replace it. By doing this, you’ll become more aware of your own word choices, making it easier to speak with precision.

When did this crusade against the word thing begin? It all started when my friend David Palmer introduced me to my now favorite phrase, “Specificity builds credibility.”

As I sat in the back of a coaching camp I was conducting with Darren LaCroix, I became increasingly irritated by the number of times I heard phrases like, “The best thing to do to be successful…” or “The first thing I did to make the sale…” I couldn’t help but think, “Do you mean the best action we need to take?”

Here’s a list of more precise options for your consideration.

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Add Historical References to Add Interest to Your Modern Day Speeches

When you give a speech and use a reference from the past, do you research it?

For instance, one of my executive coaching clients asked for help with his Father of the Bride speech. He wanted to use the phrase tying the knot. I asked, “Do you know the historical reference?” We researched it and included it in his speech. Who said you couldn’t get more competent at a wedding?

Tying the Knot:

Father of the Bride speech
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Never Make the Mistake and Overlook the Power of Moments to Reflect

Alan Alda says, “The space between the lines makes a great performance.”

Yes, you guessed it. That means you must never underestimate the power of the pause. This is true in acting, speaking, and music.

My brother Robert Fripp, the legendary guitarist and one of Rolling Stone magazine’s “100 Greatest Guitarists,” explains, “The music is between the notes, not in the notes.”

Your words do not convey your message by themselves; it is also with your pauses.

Take pausing seriously

Remember, a pause isn’t a moment of nothing. It is a tool used strategically to help you build an intellectual and emotional connection with your audience. When you pause, you give your audience time to process your words. A pause allows your listeners to stay engaged and enables them to follow what comes next. If you tend to speak rapidly, allowing adequate time for pauses is even more important. Pauses also give you time to breathe, smile, and think.

Pauses are the punctuation marks of your speech. They give structure and meaning to our words.

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Secrets to Help Your Audiences Remember Your Message: Your Phrase That Pays

Every day, we are bombarded with more information than we can remember.

Whatever your role, you want your message to be remembered and repeated to others. When we do that, we are speaking to the audience of our audience.

In selling, managing, inspiring, leading, training, copywriting, and, in fact, all forms of communication, we must look for techniques that help make our messages memorable to our audiences.

Before our colleagues, customers, partners, or audience members leave the meeting or presentation, we need to solidify our message or remind them of the action they must take. Tying a robust, repeatable message to stories or a significant point gives you a “Phrase That Pays.”  Story consultant coach Doug Stevenson says, “A ‘Phrase That Pays’ is a short phrase that summarizes your message. It is a call to action that tells your listener or audience member what you expect them to do.”

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Want to Become Confident in Your Public Speaking Skills? This is How

As a professional speaker and speech coach, I am frequently asked, “Were you always this confident?” The answer is, “No.”

Confidence in public speaking doesn’t come naturally to everyone. It’s built over time through a commitment to learn, improve, get coached, review your presentations, and continuously stive to hone your skills. Even those with natural talent must know the proven principles and timeless techniques.

Fripp can help improve your presentations.

One of the most transformative benefits of developing good public speaking skills is the boost it gives to your confidence.

Boost Your Confidence and Credibility

Consider Will, a Staff Performance Engineer at a large technology company in Silicon Valley. Will’s story perfectly illustrates how mastering presentation skills can transform one’s confidence. Like many brilliant technical experts, Will invested years developing his skills and then found himself thrust into the spotlight, needing to present to colleagues and superiors.

I felt like a proud parent when Will wrote, “Four months ago, I attended your presentation skills Masterclass. It was eye-opening. I just wanted to let you know how beneficial that class has been. I’ve been a very anxious public speaker for as long as I can remember. After your class, my anxiety magically melted away. Recently, I delivered an hour-long talk to my twenty-five-person team. The audience included management, a director, and our Technical Director.

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Do You Know How Your Visual Aids May Harm Your Audience Members?

I help high-tech companies with product launches and customer user conferences to highlight the value of their technology. It is a privilege to assist brilliant technical presenters in better understanding how to talk like real people speaking to real people. Their presentations need to simplify the complexity of technology without ever using the words basic or simple because if it were, why would they charge the price they do? Many love their busy, complex slides. My job is to help them understand that their visual aids may cause cognitive overload.

What is Cognitive Overload?

Cognitive overwhelm occurs when our brains are bombarded with too much information at once, making it difficult to process and retain anything. In public speaking, this often happens when a speaker overloads the audience with data, complex visuals, or rapid speech.

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Why Is an Act of Quality Important?

My brother Robert Fripp played guitar on David Bowie’s Heroes.

When my brother and I delivered our presentation, How to Be a Hero for More than One Day, I asked him, “How can we become heroes?”

He replies, “By performing acts of quality.”

The next logical question is, “Why is an act of quality important?”

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Did You Know the Best Stories for Your Speeches Come from Entertaining Your Friends?

When crafting unforgettable presentations, the best stories often come from your life experiences—the stories you tell your friends.

What captivates your friends will also captivate your audience.

Robert Fripp Speaks

Think about the last time you shared a story with a friend. Perhaps it was a funny memory from your childhood, a lesson learned from a challenging project, or an inspiring moment that changed your perspective. These stories resonate because they are genuine, personal, and relatable. Your audience, like your friends, connects with authenticity and emotional honesty.

Why Personal Stories Work

  1. Relatability: Personal stories are relatable. When you share a story from your life, your audience can see themselves in your experiences. They find common ground, which builds a connection.
  2. Authenticity: Audiences crave authenticity. Sharing a story from your own life comes across as genuine and sincere, which helps build trust and rapport with your listeners.
  3. Emotional Impact: Personal stories often carry a strong emotional punch. Whether it’s humor, sadness, triumph, or failure, emotions are powerful tools for engaging an audience and making your message memorable.
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The #1 Skill to Increase Your Business, Career, and Reputation

It never ceases to amaze me that intelligent, well-educated, and ambitious professionals frequently overlook developing the number-one skill guaranteed to position them ahead of the crowd: the ability to stand up and speak eloquently in public, or at least stagger to their feet and say anything at all.

What terrifies so many about public speaking? Most likely, it is because we do not want to look, feel, or sound foolish in front of others. This fear can be paralyzing, but it is also conquerable.

I frequently hear, “I am a terrible public speaker.” To which I reply, “No. You are an untrained speaker.” My second comment is always, “Stop telling yourself what you do not want. This is reinforcing what you are going to change.” You improve what you focus on. I tell my coaching clients, “You have invested your entire career training to be a competent CPA, engineer, nurse, dentist, financial advisor, or content expert. Now it’s time to invest in becoming a competent speaker.”

The Importance of Public Speaking Skills

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