Why the Best Business Deals Are Won Before the Numbers Are Negotiated

When my friend Michael Sipe, a brilliant mergers and acquisitions specialist, was building his reputation as a business broker, I helped him craft speeches to market his expertise. Mike has always understood something many professionals overlook:

Most business deals are not won on price. They are won on positioning, perception, and personal chemistry.

Here is one of the most powerful business lessons Mike ever shared with me..

The Situation: Three Full-Price Offers and One Smart Strategy

Mike was conducting an acquisition search for a client, Jane. During that search, he discovered that an internationally famous giftware store was quietly for sale through a general business broker.

Jane was intrigued, but there was a problem.
The broker had already received three full-price offers.

Most buyers would have stopped there.

Mike did not.

Because he had a strong relationship with the broker, he persuaded him to allow Jane to meet the seller. Mike had done his homework and suspected something critical:

The seller was not simply selling a business.
He was letting go of a legacy.

The owner had emigrated from Eastern Europe and came from humble beginnings. He had built the company over decades. He regarded it as a child. His identity was intertwined with the business. Although he wanted to retire, Mike sensed that the seller secretly hoped to remain influential, respected, and connected after the sale.

The other bidders, by contrast, wanted a clean takeover. No interference. No emotional attachment.

Mike recognized the opportunity immediately.

Coaching the Buyer to “Sell” the Seller

Mike knew, contrary to popular wisdom, that buyers must sell first.

They must sell the seller on:

  • Why are they the proper steward of the business

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  • Why the business will thrive in their hands
  • Why the seller’s legacy will be respected

Only after that does money truly matter.

Mike coached Jane carefully.

Jane was impressive on paper. She was a successful attorney with national recognition for her business achievements. However, Mike advised her to leave her résumé at the door.

In the meeting, Jane did not lead with her accomplishments.
She led with curiosity, respect, and restraint.

She listened more than she spoke.
She took notes.
She asked thoughtful questions.

Rather than positioning herself as the expert who would modernize everything, she positioned herself as a student of the seller’s wisdom.

She made it clear that while she would eventually introduce new technology and fresh energy, she valued the seller’s experience and wanted his continued input as she learned the business.

That distinction changed everything.

The Question That Changed the Deal

At the first meeting, Mike asked the seller a simple but profound question:

“My wife and I have been longtime customers of yours. I review businesses regularly, but I cannot figure this out. What is the secret of your business? What is your magic?”

The seller lit up.

No one had ever asked him that.

As Jane listened intently, the seller revealed two of the most insightful retail lessons I have ever heard.

First:
“There must always be an element of discovery in a store.”

The store layout was intentionally designed to require customers to search. In doing so, they discovered unexpected treasures and raced them to the cash register. What appeared to be disorganization was, in fact, strategic design.

Second:
“Never forget the potato peelers.”

While customers came for the extraordinary, one-of-a-kind items, the store always stocked everyday fundamentals. Not because customers came for them, but because once immersed in the environment, they gladly purchased those basics at full margin.

That insight alone is worth millions.

The Outcome: Winning Without the Highest Offer

Over a series of meetings, Jane continued learning while building a genuine rapport. When the time came to structure an offer, Mike presented one that was significantly lower than the others and far more favorable to the buyer.

It included a consulting agreement that kept the seller involved.

The seller accepted immediately.

Why?

Because Jane had sold him confidence, respect, and continuity.

She had demonstrated that she would protect what he built while taking it into the future.

Jane acquired the company, redesigned it for the twenty-first century, and honored the principles she had learned. Each month, when the seller returned as a consultant, he was delighted by the energized staff, the elevated customer experience, and the growth of the business.

His legacy was safe.

The Lesson for Every Business Leader

The secret to successful negotiations, acquisitions, and partnerships is understanding this:

A sale is rarely just about money.
It is about identity, trust, and chemistry.

Whether you are selling a business, pitching an idea to senior leadership, closing a major account, or persuading stakeholders, you are always selling more than terms.

You are selling:

  • Confidence
  • Continuity
  • Credibility

Great brokers, leaders, and communicators do not create adversaries.
They create alignment.

They research the people involved, coach for rapport, and orchestrate conversations where both sides walk away thinking:

“I want to do business with that person.”

That is not manipulation.
That is mastery.

And it begins long before the numbers appear on the page.

If you want to position yourself, your ideas, or your business so that decision-makers wish to say “yes”, that is exactly what I coach leaders to do.

Because the strongest deals are built on trust, not just transactions.

Michael Sipe is now Chairman – 10x Catalyst Groups®, President – CrossPointe Capital, and Two Time #1 Bestselling Author

“Thank you for the excellent job you did presenting the opening keynote and a well-attended breakout session at the IMC USA Conference.” – Henry DeVries, Conference Chair, IMC USA

“Thank you for the seven spectacular presentations at our year-end 2007 workshops. The clients loved you!” – Lois Fried, CPP, Client Trainer, ADP

“Patricia’s highly interactive keynote was great. I’ve received nothing but positive feedback from the entire team. The meeting went very well, and I’m grateful Patricia was so good.”
Steve Sumner, Alliances Manager, Membership Products, California State Automobile Association

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A few years ago, during a presentation-skills training session, the sales leaders sat in the room and heard what I was teaching. After the first lunch break, the national sales manager walked to the front of the room, looked at his sixty top associates, and said, “At lunch, the executive sales team and I decided we have no idea how we managed to sell anything before we met Patricia.”

As you can imagine, that got everyone’s attention.

He explained, “It takes us a year to earn the opportunity to deliver an hour-long presentation to a small group of executives from one of our prospects. At that point, a new client relationship is worth between five and ten million dollars.”

Naturally, I asked, “How long do you spend rehearsing a presentation that important?”

A Shameful Sales Secret

Stories are the #1 way to increase sales

What I expected Dan to say was something close to the disciplined, professional approach I recommend in my training:

“Patricia, we spend the week in the boardroom. We review the client’s concerns, adjust our script, rehearse repeatedly, record ourselves, analyze every moment, and bring colleagues in to challenge our assumptions.”

Instead, he shrugged and said, “If we have a run-through in the back of Joan’s car before the meeting, we are lucky.”

This is not uncommon. It is also unacceptable.
As Oscar-winning Sir Michael Caine reminds us, “Rehearsal is the work; performance is the relaxation.”

Companies invest enormous time and resources to earn a prospect’s attention. Yet they stop short of preparing the one element that determines whether their investment yields revenue: the quality of their sales presentation.

For twenty-five years, I have worked with executives, engineers, and sales teams across industries. I know what works, and I know the mistakes that derail even the best products, services, and strategies. Most often, those mistakes fall into four areas. Fortunately, the solutions are straightforward and immediately actionable.

Here are four sales secrets that will help you avoid costly mistakes, shorten your sales cycle, and dramatically improve your results.

Sales Suggestion #1: Clear Thinking Leads to Clear Selling

When an executive says, “You have ten minutes to tell me what I need to know,” they are not asking for the history of your company.

They are really asking:

“Can you improve our company? Will your solution solve a problem, create opportunities, increase savings, streamline processes, or strengthen our competitive position?”
At this stage, the prospect is more interested in their world than yours. When your message is crystal clear, you elevate your credibility and increase your chances of earning deeper conversations. Clarity builds trust quickly because clarity demonstrates respect.
Define your premise in one sentence: “Your company will be better off with our company as your solution…because…”

Everything else supports that point.

Sales Suggestion #2: Talk Less, Ask More

The second biggest mistake sales professionals make is talking too much. When you speak at your prospects rather than with them, you lose the opportunity to uncover the very information you need to win.

Your most successful early conversations should consist of well-researched, open-ended questions that require thoughtful answers. Then you must listen—truly listen—to those answers.

Ask deeper questions.
If they want to increase sales, ask:
“By how much?”
“In which market?”
“What prompted this priority?”

If they want to improve morale, ask:
“What signs tell you this is urgent?”
“What has been tried before?”
“What results were achieved?”

Professionals trust advisors who demonstrate curiosity, not those who recite memorized talking points. This is how you transform a transactional encounter into a strategic partnership.

Sales Suggestion #3: Structure Your Message Around the Prospect

Many presentations fail because they are structured around the seller, rather than the buyer.

The “Here is who we are, what we do, and whom we do business with…” approach sounds logical—until you realize that prospects may not care. They care intensely about their challenges, opportunities, and constraints.

Use their words, concerns, metrics, and timeline to structure your presentation.
Your goal is to deliver this message:
“Your company’s condition will be dramatically improved when you do business with us.”

When you speak your prospect’s language, they hear their own priorities reflected back to them. And people do not argue with their own ideas.

Sales Suggestion #4: Your Stories Sell More Than Your Statements

Prospects rarely remember your exact words. They remember the mental pictures your words evoke—especially stories.

Your customer success stories are your most persuasive sales tools. They must be specific, strategic, and memorable.

Recommendation: Use the Situation–Solution–Success Formula

Here is how it works:

Situation:
“When John Smith, their VP of Sales, first called, he said, ‘Help. We heard you are the right partner to help us…’”

Solution:
“Here is what we did…”

Success:
“If John were here, he would tell you, ‘We never imagined we could achieve these results…’”

This approach borrows from Hollywood story structure and the Then–How–Now formula I teach my clients.
It transforms your testimonials into unforgettable third-party endorsements that do the selling for you.

What Happens Once You Apply These Suggestions?

When you adopt these four principles—clarity, questions, customer-focused structure, and strategic stories—you transform how prospects perceive you.

You sound more professional, more credible, and more trustworthy. You position yourself as a strategic partner, not another vendor. Once your structure is correct, you are ready for the level of rehearsal required for high-stakes presentations. As I tell my clients:
Rehearsal is the work. Performance is the relaxation.

If Dan’s team had followed these principles consistently, their “year-long pursuit” presentations would have converted far more often.

Ready to Sell More?

Companies of every size rely on me to help their sales teams design and deliver the high-impact conversations and presentations that drive business.

When you want to sharpen your message, elevate your team’s professionalism, and increase your win rate, FrippVT Sales gives you direct access to proven sales-presentation strategies you can implement immediately.

If you want personal guidance, I would be delighted to help you script, structure, and rehearse your high-value presentations—virtual or in-person.

Your message deserves to be heard.
Your expertise deserves to be trusted.
Your prospects deserve to say yes.

Let’s make your next presentation the most persuasive you have ever delivered.

“In 2018, Patricia Fripp guided our team through a mission-critical sales presentation, which we won. The real story is what happened next. That single presentation has continued to generate extraordinary results. Last year alone, we secured $1.6 million in business from that client. This January, we received an additional $2.8 million order—and the year has barely begun. Patricia’s advice and coaching deliver clarity, confidence, and undeniable ROI.” Michael E. Stryczek, President & CEO, AB&R® (American Barcode and RFID)

 

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The Appalling State of Applause

At the National Speakers Association, we joke that everyone—including the salad chef—gets a standing ovation. Funny, yes. Accurate, no. Most conferences are far more restrained.

My other association family is the Professional Speechwriters Association, and this year’s conference was one of the best I have ever attended. Early on, we heard from a moderated panel of four seasoned speechwriters discussing the challenges of working in today’s politically charged environment. Their insights were thoughtful. Their stories were brave. Their message was organized, polished, and delivered with clarity.

As they finished—before the Q&A—I was ready for thunderous applause.

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Do you want your audience to lean in from your very first sentence?

One technique that works with many presentations is to begin with a surprising statistic or a little-known fact that makes your audience think, “Really? Tell me more.”

Many of my speech coaching clients are leaders, engineers, and technical experts. Buried deep in the body of their presentations are fascinating statistics or insights that could instantly capture attention.

My first suggestion: “Your comments would be more dramatic, memorable, and attention-getting if they were moved to the beginning. Before the ‘Welcome to…’ or ‘I am …’ or ‘Thank you for …’

My second suggestion:
“Add an emotion to your statistics or insights to bring your audience into your presentation from your first remarks.”

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Perhaps you can relate?

After forty years in the same home, I finally decided it was time to tackle my office.

Yes… the drawers, the boxes, the files I promised myself I would “get to one day.” That day has arrived, and with it comes a mixture of nostalgia, discovery, and a surprising sense of renewal.

My speaking career spans even more years than my address.

Tucked away in one filing cabinet is a treasure trove of letters from clients. Thank-you notes from keynote speeches, enthusiastic follow-ups from sales training, and heartfelt messages from executives I coached. Some I remember vividly. Others… well, let’s say it has been a delightful reminder of how busy those decades were.

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Recently, I had the pleasure of speaking for the Florida Speakers Association.

What a treat to discover their meeting was held at the fabulous Fort Lauderdale Improv! The venue itself inspired me to share one of my favorite stories and offer a suggestion every speaker can use.

For those unfamiliar, Budd Friedman was the founder of the original Improv Comedy Club in New York.

Opened in 1963, it became a legendary stage for stand-up comedy, which helped to launch the careers of Richard Pryor, Lily Tomlin, Jay Leno, Bette Midler, and many others.

In the early 1990s, Budd spoke for the Learning Annex in San Francisco. I was thrilled to hear him and, as usual, sat in the front row. My advice to the Florida speakers—and to any professional—is this: when you hear someone famous speak, ask them an interesting question.

That’s precisely what I did. I asked, “Mr Friedman, is there such a thing as natural talent?”

He smiled and replied, “Yes. However, there is no overnight success. Jay Leno had natural talent, and it still took him 15 years to become established.”

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Last week, I attended the Professional Speechwriters Association World Conference. What truly made it unforgettable was the setting: Planet Word in Washington, D.C.

If you’ve never been, Planet Word isn’t just a museum—it’s an experience. It’s a living, breathing celebration of words, ideas, and human connection. From the moment you step through its doors, you can feel the energy of creativity in the air. Every exhibit invites you to play with language—to speak, listen, and rediscover the joy of communication.

Housed in the beautifully restored Franklin School, a National Historic Landmark, Planet Word blends 19th-century grandeur with cutting-edge interactive design. It’s a place where architecture meets imagination, where technology and history work together to tell the story of how language shapes our world.

For a gathering of professional communicators, it couldn’t have been more fitting. We were surrounded by inspiration. The walls spoke—sometimes literally, and reminded us that every great message begins with curiosity, courage, and craft.

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My speech coaching clients frequently hear me say, “Are you going to do it, or kind of do it? Remember, you do not ‘kind of’ or ‘sort of’ do anything.”

Even seasoned executives who should know better use these weak words and phrases. Often, they’re trying to sound modest or approachable. Unfortunately, what actually happens is the opposite—they lose power, clarity, and credibility in both conversations and presentations.

What Are Speech Qualifiers?

Speech qualifiers are words and phrases that soften or weaken what we say. You know them well: “kind of,” “sort of,” “maybe,” “probably,” “just,” “a little bit,” “try,” and “I think.”

They might sound harmless, even polite. However, in leadership and sales, these words quietly erode your authority and undermine your message.

1. They Undermine Your Credibility

When you say, “I kind of think we should move forward,” you may believe you’re being cautious. What your listeners hear is uncertainty. Leaders are expected to be clear, confident, and decisive.

In Deliver Unforgettable Presentations, I remind professionals that every time they speak, they are either enhancing or lowering their reputation. Qualifiers suggest you don’t fully believe in your own message—and that perception is costly.

Think about the leaders who inspire you most. They don’t hedge their ideas. They speak with clarity and purpose. Confidence builds trust; uncertainty erodes it.

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If you’ve ever watched a presenter who seems to be speaking directly to you—as if they somehow knew your challenges and goals—you’ve experienced the magic of customization.

That isn’t luck; it’s strategy.

In Deliver Unforgettable Presentations, my co-authors Darren LaCroix, Mark Brown, and I emphasize that when you customize your presentation, it is one of the surest ways to be remembered, recommended, and rebooked. When your audience feels that your message is tailor-made for them, they engage more deeply, recall your ideas more clearly, and are far more likely to act on what you say.

So how do you do it?

  1. Start with your audience, not your slides.

Before you craft a single sentence, ask yourself:

  • Who is my audience?
  • What do they care about most right now?
  • What keeps them up at night?

In Deliver Unforgettable Presentations, we write that “anyone can stand up and deliver a presentation, but not everyone connects.” Connection begins with understanding your listeners’ priorities and language. Customize your stories, data, and examples to reflect their industry, their challenges, and their success metrics.

  1. Build your structure around what matters most to them.
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Every day, we are bombarded with more information than we can remember.

Whatever your role—executive, manager, salesperson, or team leader—you want your message to be remembered and repeated.

When your words travel beyond the room, you are speaking not only to your audience but to the audience of your audience. That’s how ideas grow, reputations spread, and influence multiplies.

Why Being Remembered Matters

In every form of communication—selling, managing, inspiring, training, or leading—the ultimate goal is the same: to make your message stick. Before your audience, colleagues, or customers leave the room, you want them to recall your words clearly and share them confidently.

That is the mark of a world-class communicator.

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