Why the Best Business Deals Are Won Before the Numbers Are Negotiated

When my friend Michael Sipe, a brilliant mergers and acquisitions specialist, was building his reputation as a business broker, I helped him craft speeches to market his expertise. Mike has always understood something many professionals overlook:

Most business deals are not won on price. They are won on positioning, perception, and personal chemistry.

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A few years ago, during a presentation-skills training session, the sales leaders sat in the room and heard what I was teaching. After the first lunch break, the national sales manager walked to the front of the room, looked at his sixty top associates, and said, “At lunch, the executive sales team and I decided we have no idea how we managed to sell anything before we met Patricia.”

As you can imagine, that got everyone’s attention.

He explained, “It takes us a year to earn the opportunity to deliver an hour-long presentation to a small group of executives from one of our prospects. At that point, a new client relationship is worth between five and ten million dollars.”

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The Appalling State of Applause

At the National Speakers Association, we joke that everyone—including the salad chef—gets a standing ovation. Funny, yes. Accurate, no. Most conferences are far more restrained.

My other association family is the Professional Speechwriters Association, and this year’s conference was one of the best I have ever attended. Early on, we heard from a moderated panel of four seasoned speechwriters discussing the challenges of working in today’s politically charged environment. Their insights were thoughtful. Their stories were brave. Their message was organized, polished, and delivered with clarity.

As they finished—before the Q&A—I was ready for thunderous applause.

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Do you want your audience to lean in from your very first sentence?

One technique that works with many presentations is to begin with a surprising statistic or a little-known fact that makes your audience think, “Really? Tell me more.”

Many of my speech coaching clients are leaders, engineers, and technical experts. Buried deep in the body of their presentations are fascinating statistics or insights that could instantly capture attention.

My first suggestion: “Your comments would be more dramatic, memorable, and attention-getting if they were moved to the beginning. Before the ‘Welcome to…’ or ‘I am …’ or ‘Thank you for …’

My second suggestion:
“Add an emotion to your statistics or insights to bring your audience into your presentation from your first remarks.”

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Perhaps you can relate?

After forty years in the same home, I finally decided it was time to tackle my office.

Yes… the drawers, the boxes, the files I promised myself I would “get to one day.” That day has arrived, and with it comes a mixture of nostalgia, discovery, and a surprising sense of renewal.

My speaking career spans even more years than my address.

Tucked away in one filing cabinet is a treasure trove of letters from clients. Thank-you notes from keynote speeches, enthusiastic follow-ups from sales training, and heartfelt messages from executives I coached. Some I remember vividly. Others… well, let’s say it has been a delightful reminder of how busy those decades were.

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Recently, I had the pleasure of speaking for the Florida Speakers Association.

What a treat to discover their meeting was held at the fabulous Fort Lauderdale Improv! The venue itself inspired me to share one of my favorite stories and offer a suggestion every speaker can use.

For those unfamiliar, Budd Friedman was the founder of the original Improv Comedy Club in New York.

Opened in 1963, it became a legendary stage for stand-up comedy, which helped to launch the careers of Richard Pryor, Lily Tomlin, Jay Leno, Bette Midler, and many others.

In the early 1990s, Budd spoke for the Learning Annex in San Francisco. I was thrilled to hear him and, as usual, sat in the front row. My advice to the Florida speakers—and to any professional—is this: when you hear someone famous speak, ask them an interesting question.

That’s precisely what I did. I asked, “Mr Friedman, is there such a thing as natural talent?”

He smiled and replied, “Yes. However, there is no overnight success. Jay Leno had natural talent, and it still took him 15 years to become established.”

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Last week, I attended the Professional Speechwriters Association World Conference. What truly made it unforgettable was the setting: Planet Word in Washington, D.C.

If you’ve never been, Planet Word isn’t just a museum—it’s an experience. It’s a living, breathing celebration of words, ideas, and human connection. From the moment you step through its doors, you can feel the energy of creativity in the air. Every exhibit invites you to play with language—to speak, listen, and rediscover the joy of communication.

Housed in the beautifully restored Franklin School, a National Historic Landmark, Planet Word blends 19th-century grandeur with cutting-edge interactive design. It’s a place where architecture meets imagination, where technology and history work together to tell the story of how language shapes our world.

For a gathering of professional communicators, it couldn’t have been more fitting. We were surrounded by inspiration. The walls spoke—sometimes literally, and reminded us that every great message begins with curiosity, courage, and craft.

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My speech coaching clients frequently hear me say, “Are you going to do it, or kind of do it? Remember, you do not ‘kind of’ or ‘sort of’ do anything.”

Even seasoned executives who should know better use these weak words and phrases. Often, they’re trying to sound modest or approachable. Unfortunately, what actually happens is the opposite—they lose power, clarity, and credibility in both conversations and presentations.

What Are Speech Qualifiers?

Speech qualifiers are words and phrases that soften or weaken what we say. You know them well: “kind of,” “sort of,” “maybe,” “probably,” “just,” “a little bit,” “try,” and “I think.”

They might sound harmless, even polite. However, in leadership and sales, these words quietly erode your authority and undermine your message.

1. They Undermine Your Credibility

When you say, “I kind of think we should move forward,” you may believe you’re being cautious. What your listeners hear is uncertainty. Leaders are expected to be clear, confident, and decisive.

In Deliver Unforgettable Presentations, I remind professionals that every time they speak, they are either enhancing or lowering their reputation. Qualifiers suggest you don’t fully believe in your own message—and that perception is costly.

Think about the leaders who inspire you most. They don’t hedge their ideas. They speak with clarity and purpose. Confidence builds trust; uncertainty erodes it.

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If you’ve ever watched a presenter who seems to be speaking directly to you—as if they somehow knew your challenges and goals—you’ve experienced the magic of customization.

That isn’t luck; it’s strategy.

In Deliver Unforgettable Presentations, my co-authors Darren LaCroix, Mark Brown, and I emphasize that when you customize your presentation, it is one of the surest ways to be remembered, recommended, and rebooked. When your audience feels that your message is tailor-made for them, they engage more deeply, recall your ideas more clearly, and are far more likely to act on what you say.

So how do you do it?

  1. Start with your audience, not your slides.

Before you craft a single sentence, ask yourself:

  • Who is my audience?
  • What do they care about most right now?
  • What keeps them up at night?

In Deliver Unforgettable Presentations, we write that “anyone can stand up and deliver a presentation, but not everyone connects.” Connection begins with understanding your listeners’ priorities and language. Customize your stories, data, and examples to reflect their industry, their challenges, and their success metrics.

  1. Build your structure around what matters most to them.
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Every day, we are bombarded with more information than we can remember.

Whatever your role—executive, manager, salesperson, or team leader—you want your message to be remembered and repeated.

When your words travel beyond the room, you are speaking not only to your audience but to the audience of your audience. That’s how ideas grow, reputations spread, and influence multiplies.

Why Being Remembered Matters

In every form of communication—selling, managing, inspiring, training, or leading—the ultimate goal is the same: to make your message stick. Before your audience, colleagues, or customers leave the room, you want them to recall your words clearly and share them confidently.

That is the mark of a world-class communicator.

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