When my brother, Robert Fripp and I were little, if our mother was upset or frustrated, she would swear by saying, “Sugar” or “Spit.”
All the emotion without teaching her two sweet, innocent children ‘naughty’ words.
Recently, I watched the Michael Smerconish talk show. He discussed the rise of swearing in political ads and even in debates. He commented on the frequency of profanity and who was using it. Many were individuals we would never have expected to swear publicly.
His guest was Benjamin K. Bergen, author of What the F: What Swearing Reveals About Our Language, Our Brains, and Ourselves. His research is fascinating.
Bergen explained that swearing is universal and psychologically powerful. Swearing revolves around cultural taboos such as religion, sex, bodily functions, and identity-based slurs.
In his book, he explores how profanity is processed in the brain, including cases where stroke patients lose much of their language yet retain the ability to curse. This suggests partially separate neural pathways. He even examines the “grammar” of swearing and why certain phrases seem to bend normal language. Cross-culturally, every society has its version of taboo language.
As a student of communication, I find this intellectually intriguing.
As an executive speech coach, I give different advice.
I encourage my clients not to swear.
Yes, men often “get away with it” more easily than women. However, that is not the standard I coach to. My standard is leadership.
When you stand on a stage, sit at the boardroom table, or represent your organization in media or public forums, you demonstrate what you believe is leadership communication.
When you work at or represent this company, this is how you look, act, speak, and behave.
Your language signals culture.
A leader’s words create expectations. They set the emotional tone. They shape reputation.
Can profanity be powerful? Of course. It carries an emotional charge. That is precisely why it works in political ads. It shocks. It signals frustration. It feels “authentic” to some audiences.
However, there is a difference between raw expression and strategic communication.
In business, our goal is not to vent.
Our goal is to persuade, inspire, and build trust.
Consistency, not swearing, builds culture.
Professionalism builds influence.
If your message is strong, you do not need profanity to give it impact.
“Patricia Fripp’s coaching was incredibly valuable. She is razor-focused on every word, every phrase, and every moment that matters. Even as an experienced speaker and an expert on my subject, she helped me transform my ideas into a powerful, cohesive keynote. I learned a tremendous amount from working with her, and the experience elevated both my message and my confidence.” Lisa Fain
