One Secret to a Good Life: Engage Your Brain Before Eating

Robert Fripp performing with King Crimson.
Robert Fripp performing with King Crimson.

In the Court of the Crimson King

In honor of the just released documentary about my brother Robert Fripp and his band, we will revisit an earlier post.

Variety says, “In the Court of the Crimson King is really about as good as any rock documentaries get, in capturing the essence of a group of musicians and how they relate to each other.”

The Next Time You Sit Down to Dinner Reflect

Early in his career, my brother Robert Fripp enjoyed international acclaim with his band King Crimson. He later felt a great need to leave that world and spend time on spiritual self-reflection. Brother went into a retreat with philosopher J.G. Bennett. That experience made a significant impact on Robert and is still reflected in the way he lives his life and influences others, including me.

At the retreat before meals, which they prepared themselves, they said grace. Many decades later, we both enjoy sharing it with friends and gatherings of all faiths.

“All life is one, and everything that lives is holy.

Plants, animals, and people all must eat to live and nourish one another.

We bless the life that has died to give us food.

Let us eat consciously, resolving by our labors to pay the debt of our existence.


Can you imagine my surprise, on the morning of Friday, December 3, 1999, when dozens of friends called and said, “Did you see the story about your brother in the San Francisco Chronicle?” Please enjoy.

Engage Brain Before Eating

Patricia and Robert Fripp delivering a presentation.

From the San Francisco Chronicle by Jon Carroll

“THERE WAS A time in my life, a very rich and lovely time, when I almost lived in New York City, staying down on Gansevoort Street long before it became chic and walking to work at The Village Voice every day. And yet, I paid no rent and got to go back to California a lot. Oh, golden year!

“One of my acquaintances then was the guitarist, Robert Fripp, who was a friend of a friend. He was extremely soft-spoken and kindhearted, an accidental rock star who had no particular interest in the role.

“So, one time a group of us, mostly journalists and musicians, maybe 10 people in all, went to dinner at some downtown spot, cheap and loud and amusing. And we were talking profanely, as was our wont, and gossiping and flirting in that wide-array set-phaser-on-stun sort of way that portends nothing at all unless it does.

“And then the first course arrived, and Fripp tinkled his glass and said, ‘I’d like to offer a blessing.’

“There was nervous laughter. You may be sure that we were the only table contemplating prayer in that restaurant; you may be sure that none of us (Fripp excluded) were regular sayers of grace.

“But in the clear fame-ocracy of media New York, it was implicitly but entirely understood that when Robert Fripp (co-genius behind King Crimson, collaborator with David Bowie and Peter Gabriel and Brian Eno, respected guitar virtuoso) decided a blessing was in order, there would be no catcalls from the cheap booths.

“So, Fripp said some words, clearly memorized rather than extemporized (and that too was odd, since in America at table we tend to wing it, thanking God for this day and the weather and that Martha could be here despite her hip problems; we distrust flowery language), about honoring the animals and the plants that had died so that we might have sustenance and commending their spirits to the care of the Almighty.

“IT WAS A darned quiet table after that. It is uncomfortable to think about food. Every meal is an act of denial, a common agreement that ‘food’ exists in a category different from ‘pet’ or ‘animal’ or ‘soulful entity.’

“It was easy for me to dismiss the idea that a carrot had a soul, although clearly Fripp in some form believed that. But a big, brown-eyed cow, now, or a little lambie, or even a chicken? Who are we to say that a chicken does not have a soul? Who made us experts?

“I have seen salmon swimming upstream in the endless twilight of an Alaskan summer, leaping over waterfalls, displaying characteristics that look very much like courage and tenacity and fidelity. How do I decide that I have the holy spark and that salmon does not?

“It’s possible that none of us have it, that it does not exist at all. But surely that equality argues for greater respect. We’re all in this together, folks, every cow and carrot among us.

“HOW YOU VIEW that scene in the restaurant depends on what you feel like seeing.

Robert Fripp speaking.

“You can see shallow, trend-conscious humans bowing their heads in unaccustomed prayer because a rock star told them to, or you can decide that the Buddha has many faces, and hypocrisy is as useful a route to enlightenment as any other. Both are equally true.

“Here’s what I know: Every so often, when I sit down to a meal, particularly a meal in a loud and amusing restaurant, I remember the scene with Fripp at the head of the table, his head not bowed, his eyes not closed, remembering to remember that the act of eating is not without consequences.

“I am not one who disparages denial. I think a totally evolved consciousness must be paralyzing. So many wrongs; so much suffering; the universe based on destruction and rebirth, on molecules rearranged to create younger and stronger entities.

“But I think sometimes we need to see the face of the lamb.

“The Stephen Foster song, ‘I Dream of Dinner with the Big Brown Eyes.’ Call every vegetable, call it by name, and the vegetable will.”

Thank you, Jon Carroll. For more than 20 years, I have read the words of this column a few times every year. I tear up every time.

The end of the story: Jon Carroll was a columnist for the San Francisco Chronicle from 1982, when he succeeded columnist Charles McCabe. His column appeared on the back page of the Chronicle’s “Datebook” section (the newspaper’s entertainment section) Tuesdays through Fridays. Locally, he was best known for his liberal politics and his odd, self-referential humor.

On Friday, October 30, 2015, Carroll wrote: “Yes, it’s true; I’m retiring. Thirty-three years is a long time to do anything, and 8,700 columns is, well, a lot of columns.”

Note: John Godolphin Bennett (8 June 1897 – 13 December 1974) was a British scientist, technologist, industrial research director, and author. He is best known for his books on psychology and spirituality, particularly on the teachings of G. I. Gurdjieff.

 Success: One Robert Frippicism at a Time: Why Is an Act of Quality Important?

Enjoy four of Robert Fripp’s keynote presentations. Recorded live.

Download Robert Fripp Frippicisms about Life and Music

“Robert Fripp’s presentation was as insightful as it was sensationally delivered. Our opening general sessions of 1,200 audience members were enraptured by the fascinating stories of his most amazing career in the music industry.

Many of our APA members have long admired King Crimson and Fripp’s prowess as one of the best guitarists of all time. However, it didn’t matter that he’s a famous musician. The wisdom he shared has direct parallels to every aspect of life and growth potential. His humble eloquence makes his wisdom so easy for everyone to get value. His grip on the audience was as tight as his hold on his guitar pick!” – Dan Maddux, Executive Director, American Payroll Association