A client recently asked me to come up with suggestions for her team members who were overusing the phrase, “I’m sorry” with clients.
“I’m sorry” is important when a genuine apology is called for.
However, many professionals have developed the habit of apologizing automatically, even when they haven’t done anything wrong, or when what the situation really needs is clarity, ownership, appreciation, or action.
In those moments, there may be a stronger response.
Instead of automatically saying “I’m sorry,” consider:
- “Thank you for your patience.”
• “I appreciate your understanding.”
• “Thanks for bringing that to my attention.”
• “Let me fix that.”
• “Here’s what I’ll do next.”
• “I take responsibility.”
• “That was my mistake.”
• “I see the issue, and I’ll correct it.”
• “Thank you for your flexibility.”
• “I value your time.”
Which phrase should you use?
It depends on the moment.
When someone has been inconvenienced:
Use appreciation rather than automatically apologizing.
“Thank you for your patience.”
“I appreciate your understanding.”
“Thank you for your flexibility.”
This acknowledges the other person and what they have experienced without unnecessary over-apologizing.
When you have made a mistake:
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Own it directly.
“I take responsibility.”
“That was my mistake.”
“Thanks for bringing that to my attention.”
Taking responsibility can communicate more credibility than repeatedly saying, “I’m sorry.”
When the situation needs to be corrected:
Move the conversation toward action.
“Let me fix that.”
“Here’s what I’ll do next.”
“I see the issue, and I’ll correct it.”
Often, people are less interested in hearing another apology than they are in knowing what you are going to do next.
A simple formula to remember is:
Acknowledge + Appreciate + Act
For example:
“Thank you for your patience. I see what happened, and I’ll correct it right away.”
That response acknowledges the situation, respects the other person, and makes the next step clear.
Of course, when a sincere apology is warranted, give one.
The goal isn’t to eliminate “I’m sorry.”
The goal is to make sure your words communicate what the situation actually calls for: appreciation, responsibility, or action.
This list came from a client request, and now I’d like your help making it even better.
What do you say instead of “I’m sorry”?
Please send me your favorite phrase in the comments. I’d love to expand the list.
“As a presentation coach, Patricia Fripp is a miracle worker and an executive’s best resource.”
Larraine Segil, Chairman and CEO, Exceptional Women Awardees Foundation
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